Potter's Last Laugh
by Kaden-san
Summary: AU & OC. Pansy Parkinson of the Daily Prophet has just landed the exclusive of a lifetime with the war hero Harry Potter who has been mysteriously reclusive since the end of Voldemort's Second War and her interview is not what she expected. Hints of Harmony if one were to look.


**A/N: General disclaimers of I don't own anything in the HP-verse and have yet to decide which Hogwart's witch I want to marry.**

**A/N 2: If a reader finds certain elements of this fic to be too far fetched or unreasonable please do remember that this is fanfiction and not real life.**

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Pansy Parkinson tugged down on the hem of her black pencil skirt and cleared her throat. The other witch in the lift smirked and raised an eyebrow in silent inquiry but Pansy knew better than to start babbling in front of a seasoned Auror such as Tonks. The lift stopped, the door lifted and Pansy's blue eyes widened in frightful surprise when she came face to wand with two more Aurors.

"Easy you two, You know who I am because I've just given you the colour of the day by changing my hair colour and you both remember your schoolmate Pansy Parkinson don't you?"

"Been a while but yeah I do recognise her. Cho, search her would you?"

Now that the wands were out of her face, Pansy's breathing returned to normal and a slightly older but still beautiful Cho Chang searched her person and possessions. The other magical, a wizard who red hair identified him as a Weasley stood guard and his intense gaze made her nervous even though she had nothing to be nervous about.

"Rest easy Charlie! You're going to scare the girl before she can do her job."

"I don't know Tonks. Harry has never willingly wanted to do an interview with the press before and especially the _Daily Prophet_ which has done nothing except slander him."

Even though she knew he had a point, anger bubbled up in Pansy at Charlie's words and it took a great deal of self-control not to let loose with the scathing retort she wanted to.

"I know that Rita Skeeter has left a crippling impact on my establishment's record Mr. Weasley but that is in the past and today is now. You have my word that my article will be unbiased and neutral."

"Well I'll be damned. She has a silver tongue and honeyed words just like Harry."

There were a few more serious seconds of the tense standoff between Pansy and Charlie but Tonks led Pansy past them and further into the underground corridor. The corridor opened into a gigantic room and in the centre was a large glass box. People bustled about and Pansy couldn't fathom the diversity of the small group.

"Why is Poppy here? Is that Fleur Delacour? Auror Tonks just what is going on?"

"You wanted to talk with Harry. This is how you talk to him. Come on."

A confused but fascinated Pansy followed after Tonks and the two witches stopped outside of a door that appeared on the side of the box. A grey cloaked and hooded figure walked over to them and if the attire hadn't given the Unspeakable away the void of nothingness did.

"Good afternoon Pansy Parkinson of the _Daily Prophet_. Give me your wand please."

"Why?"

"There are no wands allowed in Harry Potter's isolation chamber for your protection."

Pansy expected this because her editor had always told her that good stories came from the security conscious and the paranoid. She gave her wand to the Unspeakable and in return had a rune bracelet snapped around her wrist.

"This rune will allow you to see the isolation chamber as Harry Potter sees it and will also protect your mind from Harry Potter's magic."

"Is his situation really that dire or is he really that dangerous?"

Both Tonks and the Unspeakable stepped back without answering and with a deep breath to steady her nerves, Pansy stepped through the door. Whatever her expectations were, the lone cabin on a cliff overlooking the sea was not it.

"Unbelievable."

The imagery of the illusion was breathtaking, with the spray of the sea crashing against the cliff and seagulls flying about. Pansy fixed her satchel on her shoulder and stepped off for the cabin. As she drew closer, a loud bark sounded and a large black dog bounded towards her. Pansy went to draw her wand on instinct but remembered that she didn't have it and threw her arms up in front of her at the last moment.

"Please don't hurt me!"

When she didn't feel the crushing weight or the hot breath of the dog barrel down on her, Pansy opened her eyes and saw the dog sitting in front of her and sizing her up. She dropped her hands and gave the dog a wide berth as she continued on to the cabin. The dog followed alongside her and growled once or twice to keep her moving but didn't do anything else.

"Sirius! Where did you run off to this time and who did you bring to visit us hmm?"

The voice sounded like the old Hermione Granger but the witch that stepped out of the cabin looking nothing like the Granger that Pansy used to know. The Granger that stepped outside was the muggle version if her casual attire was anything to go by and the only thing Pansy did recognise about this Granger was the intelligence that shown in her eyes.

"Oh you found a reporter you silly old dog. Lucky for the both of us this is the reporter that Harry picked out otherwise we would be in big trouble."

The fact that Granger talked to the dog like it was a real person disturbed Pansy a little but she didn't voice this out loud.

"You don't think he understands me Pansy?"

"What? No, obviously this animal is a coping mechanism for Potter and if it works, it works."

Granger laughed, a melodious sound and she straightened from watching the dog and speared Pansy with an amused look. Somehow it felt like she was staring deeper and deeper the longer Pansy held Granger's gaze. The sensation was disconcerting to say the least but Granger broke eye contact and motioned towards the cabin.

"I think Harry's painting again but I think he's in a talkative mood. Come on in."

"Potter paints?"

Granger laughed again but led them inside the cabin and motioned for Pansy to wait as she went to find Potter. The inside of the cabin showed signs of much loving use and photos, both magical and muggle were littered about everywhere.

"Hermione says that pictures can tell a thousand words and will help me recover. So, how can I help you Pansy Parkinson?"

"She's here to listen to you Harry. You owled her remember?"

Granger's soft tone cued Pansy in on how to speak to Potter but she found it hard not to gawk at the disheveled and messy Adonis standing in front of her. Potter stood there in a flannel shirt, sleeves pushed up past his muscled forearms and intense green eyes swirling with raw power. He had paint flecks all over him and his rimless glasses really enhanced his eyes just like the faded blue jeans did to his lower torso.

"Right, the reporter. Would you like some tea?"

"Yes."

Pansy followed after Potter who led the way to the kitchen and he had Granger in front of him with a hand on her hip. Harry gestured to the table and as Pansy sat down she noticed Potter pulled out the chair closest to the stove for Grange to sit in. Apparently, they liked being close to one another and Granger smiled.

"Why don't I get the basic and obvious questions answered so you can ask what you really want to ask? Harry is officially in an undisclosed location to heal medically from his physical and mental injuries. His positive progress is steady and he is not working on any special projects for the Ministry. In fact, try as they might, those sheep and lemmings won't be able to find Harry because his isolation isn't Ministry ordained."

"Whose funding this location and Potter's recovery then?"

"That's classified but rest assured that those in the know have not broken any laws or decrees and have done nothing illegal. Their primary goal is to heal Harry's body, mind and soul before setting him loose again."

Pansy raised an eyebrow at Granger's choice of words and her devious smirk. Potter returned to the table and set two cups of tea down in front of each witch. Pansy looked up at him but he moved away to stand near a window and still kept a line of sight with Granger.

"Harry and I have experimented with tea and many of its ingredients medicinal properties. I think you'll like what Harry made for you."

"What are the extent of your injuries Potter?"

Harry didn't answer her right away but Pansy knew he would and she took a sip of her tea. Granger was right, the tea was fantastic and a serenity settled over her.

"I shattered every bone, tore every ligament and strained every muscle in both of my arms. Three of my right ribs were broken and my left shin was shattered."

"Bloody hell. How did you survive?"

Harry turned back around and stared at Pansy with his glowing green eyes. A sense of purpose and conviction flowed out of him and this in turn fueled his powerful image.

"I had to because I made certain promises to a few people and myself. I still have much to live for and I am not ready to die yet. Fates be damned."

As he spoke, Pansy could feel Harry's magic flow around the room and fill every inch of it but his magic centered around Granger. Pansy did her best to remain calm at such a display of power and Granger reached up to grab one of Potter's hands that rested on her shoulders.

"My mental injuries were the results of Riddle's torture, my time in captivity and my own doubts. Doubts if I could endure the torture and strike back when the opportune moment presented itself."

"Yes, the official statement from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement is that the Dark Lord and most of the Senior Death Eater's were killed by severe magical burns. Care to shed some more light on this?"

Harry paused, his eyes glazing over for a moment and then returning to that burning intensity. He nodded and exhaled.

"I appear to be at my most powerful when someone I care for is in danger or when my life is on the line and in this case my life was on the line. My magic reacted and my will to live was stronger than Riddle's determination to kill me. I burned all of them with blasts of magic from both hands because that's all I had and I used my life magic. Riddle and his followers didn't stand a chance."

"Life magic? Really Potter?"

"You won't find it in any book or tome Pansy. It's just what I call what happened."

Potter cleared the tea cups and walked back over to the sink. Granger cleared her throat and gave an understanding smile to Pansy.

"I know that all of this sounds too fantastical, even with magic but this is what Harry does. He does unbelievable things in extraordinary circumstances and then keeps quiet about it."

"You're right of course and I'm just trying to find a way to make this sound believable when I print this."

Granger nodded but didn't say anything else as Potter returned and resumed his previous position.

"So the physical injuries to your arms were from your killing technique on the Dark Lord?"

"Yes, and my broken ribs were a result of Bellatrix Lestrange."

"Where did you learn this technique?"

"In my training regiment after my fifth year I had to learn meditation techniques and that provided an understanding of my limits of power. While under Riddle's hospitality I meditated constantly and because of that I felt a surge in my magic. When Riddle and his followers visited me next, I tapped into that surge and well you know the rest."

Pansy nodded and looked down at her notes. She realised that her interview was almost over and she only had questions about Potter's future left.

"So what now Potter? What do you plan to do?"

"Nothing. Paint the few memories I have left and then…move on. Possibly leave England."

"Leave England? Why?"

"To be normal of course. Escape the blood bigotry, the clamor for reforms and the hype. I have nothing tying me to this place anymore with my parents dead, my godfather and his friends dead and my girlfriend's parents living elsewhere."

Potter's tone didn't inflect humour or indecision and it would appear that he meant to leave England behind for good.

"Girlfriend?"

"Yes, but that is neither here nor there. You have one last question left."

"You were the lynch pin in what was called the Golden Trio. What happened to Weasley?"

"A regular at any bar he can still get into. The war had different effects on people and Ron chose to forget his demons by taking up the bottle."

Pansy nodded and closed her notes. She packed them up in her satchel and stood up. Potter and Granger walked her to the door and Pansy's mind was full of all the information she had just learned.

"Not going to try and save England then Potter?"

"Not when the people don't won't to save it. War heroes are tossed aside like relics Pansy and I won't let that happen to me or those I care about."

As soon as Pansy stepped outside of the cabin she reappeared outside of the wards. Auror Tonks and the Unspeakable were waiting for her.

"Did you get what you needed?"

"Yes."

Auror Tonks gave Pansy back her wand and escorted her out of the room.

"What you heard in there, think on it before you write it all up. Few people are able to see the Harry Potter you just saw and like he said, war changes people."

"It just doesn't seem like him to pack up and leave."

"Oh Harry knows what he is doing, believe you me."

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_One Year Later_

Pansy walked into the ground floor of the _Daily Prophet_ and walked over to where everyone was standing around the international news section. She made her way up front, through the crowd and didn't see anything out of the ordinary.

"What's going on?"

In response to her question a junior writer gave her a copy of the Australian newspaper.

"_**Harry Potter and Friends Create New Magical Community! Claim Community Is Bigotry and Prejudice Free!"**_

"Son of a… That's what he meant."

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**A/N: This story idea came to me in a dream and I would enjoy hearing what all of you think. Ja ne.**


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